In a post going viral on social media, a man has been dragged after refusing to let his girlfriend attend her sister’s wedding.
Published to Reddit’s r/AmITheAhole forum, a woman under the anonymous username u/throwsrag546799 shared her story to get the opinions of the “AITA” community. The popular submission has over 10,000 upvotes and 3,000 comments.
The original poster (OP) begins her post by saying that she has recently moved in with her boyfriend of two years, “John.” From previous relationships, he has three children and is very protective of them. She wrote how she didn’t get to meet them until late in their relationship. John feared that they wouldn’t like her so they took baby steps in introducing them. He “encouraged” her to be extra-friendly and purchase the kids gifts and cook them food.
Since John is very busy, his kids cling to the OP since they see her more than their father. As much as she grateful that his kids like her, she wrote that she doesn’t have time for herself. She always has to take the kids with her wherever she goes. When this affected her work schedule, John told her to work fewer hours, but it didn’t happen.
Recently, she was invited to her sister’s child-free wedding that she would have to travel to get to. When John found out, he insisted she call her sister to tell her she can’t attend since she couldn’t take the kids.
The OP wrote, “I asked why and he went on about how much the kids adore me and how they’ll go crazy when I’m hours away from them. besides, that he’s too busy to look after them. I said it’s not my fault and he should either take time off work and stay with them or get a babysitter. He threw a fit about how selfish and unfeeling I was and that he will only let me attend the wedding when I tell my sister to let the kids come but I can’t ask such thing of her!
“I INSISTED on going after he kept saying I shouldn’t go. He went and told the boys that I was looking for an excuse to get some time away from then and now they won’t even speak to me. I confronted him about what he did and he said it’s the result of me ‘insisting’ on going to the wedding and choosing my sister over my stepkids. He even said I should be thankful the kids ‘accept’ me for who I am and are giving me this much attention. I was speechless and felt offended,” she concluded.
Newsweek reached out to u/throwsrag546799 for comment.
There are many single people out there who have kids. In 2020, there were about 6.9 million single fathers and 15.4 million single mothers in the United States, according to Statista.
Meeting your partner’s kids for the first time can be nerve-wracking. According to oureverydaylife.com, start slowly. It might take some time in order for your partner to be comfortable enough for you to meet their children. When you do meet them, let them know you’re interested in their interests and hobbies. Make the time you have with the kids special, spend time with them doing the things they enjoy. If things are getting very serious with your partner, be honest and open with their kids.
Reddit users were quick to comment.
“[Not the ahole]. This man is taking advantage of you. The fact that he asked you to work less hours is a major red flag [in my opinion],” u/Reddittor72529 received the top comment with over 28,000 upvotes.
U/000-Hotaru_Tomoe said, “[Not the ahole] You do realise that this man is keeping you as a free babysitter and housekeeper to escape his parental duty, yes?”
“[Not the ahole]. Go to the wedding and lose John…..He’s trying to manipulate you by using his kids and you’re not worried that he’s now resorting to anger when he doesn’t get his way,” u/ColdstreamCapple exclaimed, “Please choose your family and LEAVE this guy.”
“Wow. [Not the ahole] but you need to look in the mirror, point at your reflection and say ‘this person is nothing but a Mom II to that man’s children. She is supposed to give up her life to them and obey him.’ Then, ask the woman in the mirror if she wants this to be her entire life,” u/ChinSpin_1986 commented.